I really don't understand why it becomes you are angry with me when initially you made me angry. and now i communicate with you, you ignore me and you dont reply me.

And I dont even understand myself, why would I even bother to care about you when you had did all these to me. I was really stupid and still stupid.

The broken heart is broken into even more pieces. When i think back , i find myself stupid to accept you and we had gone too deep and now it becomes like i was the stupid one hoping for miracles to happen, or even hope that you would at least crap and joke with me although you don't belong to me. why would i even bother all these. i should have just be angry with him, hate him for playing with my feelings. everytime i talk to him about my feelings, he either just laugh and smile, or if i say somemore, he will ignore me with no answers. I'm human, i have feelings and i am not a doll for you to play. When you like it, you talk to it and touch it and care about it, when you don't like it, you just throw the doll aside and never even bother about it.

At least sometimes you would still call me once a few days, then it becomes once a few weeks, and now no more. I am seriously fucking stupid, because I still can't let go of you, and I can't forget about you and I can't have you and I still love you. I keep every single piece of hope to get close to you, to spend time with you. Everyday i wake up to go work, i look forward to catch a sight of you even though we dont talk in office. Every weekend i pray it pass faster because i feel closer to you during weekdays because we are in the same office. Isn't that stupid. Did you even know that?

My love for him has become so strong that i can even don't care what other people think but still stay strong on this love, even though there might not be a happy ending for me. I just refused to give up, I can't let go and I always think of him.

If I left the company just because I think this way I could forget him easily, I don't think this is a good idea. And its not worth it at all.

But he doesn't even care, never even show concern. No calls, no sms. NOTHING. why, because I am just nothing to him? Our relationship is not as simple as it is. Until one day I can let go this love, I can then only have a new beginning.

I hate this feelings and I dislike myself for being like this.