The other day we were supposed to go Sheraton for buffet dinner because his parents' birthday coming. Before set off I go see his phone. This idiot girl always wake up at 3am and he will say morning to her blah blah chit chat. Why in this world have such a idiotic girl? Pardon me for being so crude but she really make me unhappy. Then there was this part where he told her he told me that she's weird therefore I accept this reason and never attitude him with this issue. I was mad at that point of time so I ask him again, I said "so she really always wake up at 3am?" then his face turn black in the car never talk to me a single word. Only use LINE to ask me why I spy his phone. I say I never spy because I told him honestly that I looked at his phone. Then he say why am I doing this again. The same issue repeats and he is very sick and tired of me being jealous or whatsoever because of a girl that he has never even met before. Now my point is since this is someone he has never met before, why waste time and energy to whatsapp her then. You can choose to block her since you ignore her also no use, she continues texting. SIGH. You think I am not sick and tired of this issue. I know there is nothing between you and her but I just don't like her to talk to you. Sometimes I wonder why cant you just choose to stop talk to her so that I could be happier. But never mind, now I come to realise that I can't change you the someone that I want you to be. Everyone has their own life.
You said even if we are together or married, we should still have our own social life. I cannot agree with you totally on this belief because I myself will not talk to other guys so much when I am attached. I guess that is the different thinking between us. You said we should align to be the same so that I will not feel left out or jealous when you are out with your friends or chit chat with friends when you are unable to sleep at night. I love you, I will change on this thinking.
It wasn't easy for us to be together despite the fact that we have both been hurt in love so much before in the past. Love's a choice and I choose you and till now I have never regretted before. You said this whole issue will make you feel shi bai and wonder why am I like this and probably "break up for your own good" thoughts will float in your mind. It actually hurts me to know of this from you but I accept it. Its rather true if I were in your shoes. So now I understand something to make myself feel better - ignorance is a bliss. I shall not look at your conversation between you and her even though we both know there is nothing between you and her. Because sometimes knowing too much or seeing too much will make me go crazy sometimes and the same old shit repeats again. I don't want that to happen. Because now, its like a stain, hard to erase.
I am so scared I will lose you and you will leave me if I continue to throw tantrum on this kind of things. We both love each other so much and we should really cherish this relationship and it will last as long as it will be. Loving someone is not about changing the person but its to accept the good and flaws because that was the person you loved isn't it. =)
Enough of ranting. Thank god I have blogger to vent out my ranting. I hope I can kan kai abit so that I won't feel so erm... uncomfortable about it.
I love you baby, I really do. :P
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