its been 6months since i wrote something here. i really don't know who will read this...

first of all, talk about my job... its coming to an end by June2013. letters given... its kind of sad to part with all of you like this but i guess we have no choice. one of the most respectful person is leaving in beginning of feb. when she told me the news, i was so shocked that i could not concentrate on my work. my heart tears.. without her, i would not have come into this company, learn many things and been through many things. without her, i would not have become wad i am now. its really saddening that she decides to leave at this point, but i believe there is no right or wrong decision for her, perhaps to her, this is the best time to let go and leave. i wish her all the best and i promise i will forever remember the things she taught me and the guidance.

secondly was about him ... AGAIN... ya i know.. but this time round my heart is really dead for him. period. i bought him a shirt for bday, he say thank you and that's it. i bought a cake and to realise there are other colleagues who gave him cupcake and a slice of cake as well. i use my heart to choose the cake.. he just told me.. oh.. "i ate everything finish you know"... but what he meant was he ate all the food that were given to him.. how about mine? its just one of them.. nothing special.. FUCKING NTH SPECIAL... i knew it.. the shirt i bought for him.. he kept in office for dont know how many days.. until a point where i dont even want to ask him anymore... this shall be the last gift i gave to him... and i shall close up this chapter.. i've enough + the stress level i had at work.. i can't take it anymore sometimes...

i need a break.. YES~ just came back from Bkk with a group of awesome friends. it was full of fun and laughter. i finally get to be up close and personally with this person whom i have notice many years ago. sometimes i still can't believe that we all can go out a group of friends having fun. well.. fate is really very strange.. oh well.. let fate decide all these..

when i came back from holidays, mum started to nag again.. the way she nag make me felt like a daughter who dont care about her.. left her alone at home and go out have fun.. she keep pestering me the qns.. why can't she go with me for these trips. i felt so frustrated.. i told her many times i'm not the organiser and its so weird to bring her along.. the group and ocassion was not wrong.. but she just continues to give me that feeling... coming March i'm going to taiwan with this group of friends.. and then she goes on and on.. somehow i felt i can't go with 100% joy because she can't go with me. i'm trying my best to please her.. and i watch whatever i do or say so that i will not irritate her. its very tiring you know... sigh...

my pimple outbreak is making feel so lousy and low morale.. i wish they will recover soon but the amount of stress i'm having is preventing it from happening... will change a job remove all these stress? how about the stress at new job? i need to better manage my stress-level.. i really need to...