sometimes i really envy people who has someone there for them no matter they are happy, sad, sick, lonely and the list goes on. i start to wonder what have i done, that i dont deserve what others do. i mean, is it really so hard to find someone who really loves me, who will lend me his shoulders when i'm feeling down and sad, who will be there when something happy happened in my life? before i had a relationship, i always wanted someone who is this this this, that that that. but then the one i end up with dont have this this this, that that that. but when love really comes, you dont really care whether the guy has this or that. which is quite true in most relationship, because no one is perfect in this world. but after all these years, i'm really tired of hoping, wishing, searching for the one. because i realised i can't take it anymore, i dont want to face problems that i faced before. i dont want my heart to be broken again. i dont want to cry every night again. i dont want to cry because of love, which i know that's impossible and cannot be controlled. but why can we have a peaceful and happy relationship in life? why must we go through all these unhappiness moments? to make us love each other more after every obstacles? 1 min of happiness can cover up the whole day of sadness. but 1 sec of sadness, can destroy the whole day of happy moments. i've been thru and done with. I REALLY DONT WANT TO GO THROUGH IT AGAIN. my heart really cannot be broken anymore, its too painful and hurtful!