Though I have told myself not to be affected by him, but somehow or rather it still does. I remember that day we were chatting in office IM, just because I said a joke over something we were chatting, then you become sensitive and end our conversation. I was like wad the fuck was that man. Guys should not be so sensitive isn't it. I just felt like HELLO I HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR NONSENSE! This is really enough. Enough to make me feel freaking heartbroken and upset, enough to make me feel so tired and disheartened that all these should STOP. Each time I thought this little step would make you think of me more, but I was wrong. You freaking don't care, don't communicate other than during work IM, I felt I was like a piece of rubbish in your life. I always ask myself why in the first place you want to ask me to be your gf. I hate this, I hate you, I hate all these unhappy feelings for the past many months because of you. How hurt I was, how you crush all my hopes, how you treated me. I don't really deserve to be ruined by you like this. I am not your toy! My colleagues were happy that I managed to move on, don't bother about you. But many times when I want to IM you, I decided not to. Because I will be hurting myself if I do so. All I know was you were all along just playing with me and nothing serious about our rlsn. I had enough, I rather be alone. Maybe I was meant to be alone..

Besides this stupid issue, I also feel so disheartened from work. The colleagues are fine, just that sometimes you work until you start to ask yourself what's the point of doing all these. The management really sucks. I want to leave, but there are many things holding me back. I'm really confused. Worst was my exams in Dec clashes with my payroll closing week. How to split myself into two to complete my exams and work at the same week. How to fully concentrate on the exams. I really don't know! I feel so stressed as Dec coming soon.

不知已经多久没有感觉到真正的快乐。
或许我是注定一个人。