I stupidly believe that one day things will get better, but now I truly understood that this will not happened. Someone told me that he treats me like a doll, teddy bear etc, something that he will look at when he like it, sayang it when he suddenly wants it. To be more straight forward, like a spare one. Sometimes I really don't know why he will suddenly call me to meet up and I will happily go and see him. I want to see him because I like him. But he wants to see me, is it really because he miss me? Or he just wanted to have someone to talk to when he feels down. Like what my mum says, he has a girlfriend to talk to. I am just the spare one around. How sad can that be isn't it. It was till last wed while I was on my way home, he called. I happily thought that he wants to meet up, but actually that call was to tell me not to sms/call him that night because his gf is coming over his place. So I told him.. does he think I will want to call him? Then he said, how would he know, because I would sometimes sms him. Please.. that day I sms was because I was concerned about your workload and not those loving sms-es. I was so angry that after putting down the phone, I sms him and tell him that I will NEVER sms/call him anymore. and is he happy with my reply? But obviously there was no reply from him. I am disappointed, and disheartened after all these while of hoping and wishing. I am tired, I want to end this. My mum knows about it, and she will never allow me to go out with him anymore. She say she will follow behind me if I were to go out suddenly at night. HAHA!

Though really disheartened, but it makes me stronger! (:

The funny thing is, I might be seeing him tmr for a few hours due to a department gathering. So let's see how it goes tmr then.

我开始懂了。。