Humans changes as they grow older, like the things you think few years back may not be as impt as you think of it now. When i was younger, i used to see 'love' as a very impt factor in life, yes indeed it was still now but not as strong as i thought it was years back. Frankly speaking, i will never forget how my heart was being smashed to the ground and took days months years to fix it back myself. you may say the way i describe was impossible. then i shall reply you, wait till your heart is being smashed. i gave it all for the relationship, didn't know that one day all these were not appreciated. just by giving an excuse or a reason and everything changed and we don't belong to each other. everytime whatever i say or whatever decision i make, i always think of the others but then why when people want to hurt me, they never thought of my feelings. humans change, so does feelings change. so as i fix my heart back in a piece, along the way i opened it up again, because i still believe, there's someone who will never break my heart and smashed it to the ground. but still, it was broken a few times. sometimes i wonder, how many times you have the courage to let your heart be broken again and again. don't you feel that its time to keep it closed and keep it to yourself, and you are the only one who protects it. but sometimes in life, you will also tend to allow it to be broken because feelings cannot be controlled. the advice my mum told me, i always never take it to heart, until days where it really happened to me in my life, i truly knew why she advise me all that. there are alot of unwritten contents in life where you can't let it out from your heart and that's the worst feelings within you because there's no one who can really understand how you really felt. i shall not complain because that's life and still got a long way to go to experience and learn lessons the hard way.
i find it very ironic whenever i made up my mind not to care, not to be bothered about it, then the communication flow came back suddenly without any notice. everyday i convince myself that i have no feelings for that person and this is just crap... yet i can't remove that person out of my mind. why am i so silly then.
Happy moments this month would be early confirmation from work and salary increment after confirmation. I had a Kbox session at Jurong Safra with tong, it was great and i enjoyed the eng songs more. (; I'm still deciding whether to take HR or Accountancy degree. Hopefully my colleague can study together with me for the accountancy. But no matter what degree, i must start my studies next year! =D
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