Next month, 21st Nov.. I have a herbalife wedding to attend, next year Mar 2010, i have to attend sam's wedding in philippines, it will be my 1st time stepping in to phils. Quite excited about it, but at the same time worried about my accompany to there. Well, still got a long way to go. But now i'm thinking should i buy a dress for the nov wedding and another one for next year's wedding? Or i just wear back my dress that i have? I mean, i dont want to spend so much on dresses for weddings because i wont wear them often. Unless got weddings or functions to attend.

I thought i could wake up late today. But i woke up at 815am with slight headache. So sickening! Anyway, sam is now in phils preparing her photoshoot, only will be back on wed! It seems like so long to me.. i will be so bored in office on mon and tues. Eating lunch in office. I hope no one disturbs me.

That day someone makes me feel that, he's the kind of person who is very stingy? I mean why so troublesome and waste your brain cells, just to make sure that you have the best benefits? I mean if you got good benefits, then just accept it. Why must choose this and that and make it so complicated and so many changes. You can say he's thrifty but to me, its not. And its kind of irritating me, i dont even want to talk to him much. I had to fake my smiles and laughters and chat with him sometimes which is so tiring. Its so hard to be fake sometimes. Oh well, thats his life..

A friend of mine told me. You cannot say you are used to being alone because you are never alone, you still have friends and friends. Sometimes you might feel lonely, but you can never tell yourself that you are used to being alone unless you choose not to mix out with friends and family. So i was wondering, sometimes i really so used to being alone. And i dont initiate to go out with people unless they suggests. I dont know when i started to have this habit. But it seems so wrong, and i dont know how to tune it back on track because i'm used to being alone, my alone life. Sigh!

"I still feel hurt even till now. I dont know how to say it. But it just feels hurt. I really wish that nothing had began, nothing had ended like this. Why do people choose to be together, when it will end up like this? I din know that the 'after effect' would be so hurting. Sometimes i tell myself, never ever get into a relationship ever again because i'm going to get hurt in the end afterall. Why choose to suffer? But on the other hand, i might meet a better one, the right one in the future. But the barrier is there, unbreakable. Sometimes a song, a sight, a remark, a place could just make me tear in the heart. And my heart feels so tired. I really wish i dont have to face and go through this again. But that's life, every stage is a learning process. A step for growth, and to be more matured. Sometimes i asked myself, what's happening to my life now. And i can't give an answer.."

美的东西往往太早枯萎。。。