I feel super lazy today. I just want to stay at home and rot. Haha!

About 3years plus ago, you left me a note in friendster. I still remember how famous was friendster back then and now replaced by facebook. You left a few sentences there, when i ask you that time where you get it from. you told me it was a song. but dont know why at that time, i din go and find out which song did you refer to. and now 3years later, i remembered and went to look for that song. It was 'You Took My Heart Away' from Michael Learns To Rock. I downloaded the song, listen to it many times. and now i fall in love with that song. i'm a very strange individual who loves sad songs. the more heartbroken and sad the better, and the best is i can cry while listen to the songs. many people would think that i'm like a cry baby. yes, i was indeed a cry baby when i was a kid. its like my tears forever will not run out. but i cry for a reason as i grew older. sometimes a particular song will reminds you of some people and i feel that its normal. there's no right or wrong when you cry. in fact, i always feel much better after crying. and it somehow has become a habit of my life. well.. seems like i'm talking crap here and only i understand what i wrote.

I have been posting on sgflea for my vintage sling bag that i bought online 2 weeks back. still brand new, and felt really stupid that i actually bought that bag. because its too small for me to use. (= and ytd got a lady interested buying. finally~ i think i would have give up if still cannot sell away after 1 month. going to meet her on tues evening at lakeside to close the deal. hope everything goes well and no backing out! (:

that day a friend of mine from poly days came and chat with me on msn. he thought i had a bf. then i told him i am still single and he doesnt believe it. he says i look much more prettier compared to my poly days, how could it be possible that i'm still single now. well.. this kind of things really depends alot on fate i think. the more you want it to happen, it will forever stuck there and never move on. i dont know why, after that past relationship, my heart is really tired. its like tired of going through the in love process, having to worry here and there. feeling insecure and lonely. feeling frustrated when you're alone. feeling upset when both of us quarrel. i mean its like a long process. doesn't mean that you are now with this person, there will be happiness 24/7. and now when guys want to ask me out, my first reaction was to reject them. yup, you guys must be thinking i'm not grabbing the opportunity to get to know more abt guys. but you are not me. and you won't understand that there's this barrier inside my heart. i'm a girl, i also want to love and to be loved. the thoughts of the sad moments had slowly build up a barrier. i really dont know when this barrier is going to disappear and i dont know when the right one will appear. perhaps i'm afraid to love again. afraid to move on, to take a step forward. the heart has been hurt too deeply. well, its part of life and growing up.