bell'amore . tutto ho voluto era un bell'amore.

2012-01-15T18:26:00.004+08:00

我看到的太多背叛让我失去了爱的勇气。。。

2012-01-09T19:51:00.002+08:00

Nobody understands how much I misses him.

2011-12-29T10:28:00.003+08:00

If you really ask me what I want to do for countdown this year, I just want to hug you tight and have a good cry!!!!!

Please don't ask me why I am feeling like this again. I can't help it either.

I really want to be happy, just to be happy is what I ask for.

Time flies, and yet another year has gone....

2011-12-26T08:30:00.005+08:00

I really feel like crying out as much as I could before 2011 ends because I don't want to cry over the same issue in 2012.

I had enough, enough of guys, enough of their tricks, enough of their sweet talk, enough of their lies and excuses, enough of how they hurt me, enough of everything.

All these shall stop now.

Frankly speaking, I HATE YOU!

2011-12-04T16:59:00.001+08:00

2011-11-25T20:31:00.005+08:00

When I look back all these years what I have seen, what I have been through, what kind of people I met, how I overcome obstacles, how happy, how sad, how disappointed, all these bits and pieces make me grew, make me more matured.

Though so much tears flow, but I am glad that I walked away and moved on. Luckily I did not end up with him, if not I think my life would have been worse. Nowadays just chit chatting already sometimes makes me feel you have high ego, super sensitive and scold me words when you are angry with something else, you vent your anger at me. I am not who I used to be, I ask him to go and cool down. I ignore him. I never initiate to talk to him first. I was pretty determined to forget what happened between us.

I really don't understand guys. They are just weird. HAHA!
Perhaps being single is the best option in life. =D

I don't want to think, don't want to pursue, don't want to look forward.
I am so sick and tired of disappointment and feeling disheartened.
If it's meant to be, it will be eventually isn't it. =)

Aside from all these, I am so excited about tmr because I am going to sing with my best friend. I waited for months! Finally he has finished his exams. I'm really glad that I have him as my friend for so many years. Heehee!

As we grow up, life gets more and more complicated!

Oh ya, I cut away my hair again! Yes, AGAIN!
I promise to grow back long hair, I PROMISE! =P

2011-11-19T11:23:00.004+08:00

这次的痛真的好深好深。我真的没有办法不哭，不想，不恨。
你为什么要这么残忍地这样玩我，这样对待我！！！！！！！！！

2011-11-04T10:15:00.004+08:00

Though I have told myself not to be affected by him, but somehow or rather it still does. I remember that day we were chatting in office IM, just because I said a joke over something we were chatting, then you become sensitive and end our conversation. I was like wad the fuck was that man. Guys should not be so sensitive isn't it. I just felt like HELLO I HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR NONSENSE! This is really enough. Enough to make me feel freaking heartbroken and upset, enough to make me feel so tired and disheartened that all these should STOP. Each time I thought this little step would make you think of me more, but I was wrong. You freaking don't care, don't communicate other than during work IM, I felt I was like a piece of rubbish in your life. I always ask myself why in the first place you want to ask me to be your gf. I hate this, I hate you, I hate all these unhappy feelings for the past many months because of you. How hurt I was, how you crush all my hopes, how you treated me. I don't really deserve to be ruined by you like this. I am not your toy! My colleagues were happy that I managed to move on, don't bother about you. But many times when I want to IM you, I decided not to. Because I will be hurting myself if I do so. All I know was you were all along just playing with me and nothing serious about our rlsn. I had enough, I rather be alone. Maybe I was meant to be alone..

Besides this stupid issue, I also feel so disheartened from work. The colleagues are fine, just that sometimes you work until you start to ask yourself what's the point of doing all these. The management really sucks. I want to leave, but there are many things holding me back. I'm really confused. Worst was my exams in Dec clashes with my payroll closing week. How to split myself into two to complete my exams and work at the same week. How to fully concentrate on the exams. I really don't know! I feel so stressed as Dec coming soon.

不知已经多久没有感觉到真正的快乐。
或许我是注定一个人。

2011-10-29T08:57:00.001+08:00

你说的话在我心中生了根
爱得很深所以心很疼
记忆在我的心中翻滚
是不是每一个人
都像我一样笨
只怕再问对彼此都太残忍
我能感觉另外一个人
我等等笑容换成泪痕
爱在崩溃的时候比较真
太多疑问知道答案又如何
原来容忍不需要天份
只要爱错一个人
心痛比快乐更真实
爱为何这样的讽刺
我忘了这是第几次
一见你就无法坚持
孤独比拥抱更真实
爱让人失去了理智
会不会是我太自私
拒绝更寂寞的日子
放不开也看不见未来
难道这种不完美
才是爱情真实的样子

2011-10-06T20:45:00.000+08:00

2011-10-04T19:59:00.001+08:00

I've never loved someone like how I love you.

2011-10-01T22:01:00.003+08:00

As each time I questioned myself, why did you in the first place ask me to be your new gf when you can't even let go your gf and in the end all you did was to let me go. Did you ever feel that its fucking unfair to me? Did you even fucking care about how I felt, how hurt it was to be in this kind of situation? I shouldn't be thinking of all these anymore, but the problem is I can't get you out of my mind. Everyday at work, I had to pretend I don't care about you at all, I don't talk to you even we see each other around, because at least I had the courage to walk out of this asap so that the hurt will lessen and the feelings be gone for you. I couldn't explain the feelings when I see you, it just felt like yesterday. I keep remember the times we spend together, how happily we are, discussing about your new DIY computer, calling me at night to chat awhile, how we use to tease each other at work, and how we fight to get high score for the ipad game? All these that happened was real and true, but now it seems like it was crashed into pieces, millions and millions, just like how my heart felt from that day you let me go yet still want me. It was torturing feeling because I can't never ever guess what's on your mind for our rlsn.

The other day you talk to my colleague, and I don't even dare to look at your direction although we are not far apart. Then my colleague told me that while talking to her, your eyes were focusing on my direction, you were looking at me and my colleague saw it. I really felt so happy when she told me this, but then I realised nothing will ever change the rlsn between us now. No matter what I do, I will never the one in your heart. So what for be delighted to know this?

I seriously don't know why I am writing all these here, because no one understands me. Blogging helps to write out my true feelings.

All I want in life its just to be happy, to have a proper rlsn and someone who really loves me. But it seems like it was really hard to have it, so I had stopped.

We are moving to a new floor with our new office. We are getting further apart now. I just wish that one day, just one fine day, I can walk out of this and be truly happy..

2011-09-28T20:42:00.002+08:00

"Eleven Hints for Life"

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, anhour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

2011-09-22T16:01:00.002+08:00

I don't know why suddenly things turned out this way. We stop communication and no sms, no calls. And now I have to force myself to be determined to walk out of this rlsn, to have no more feelings for him. Its really a toture every day especially at work, especially when I accidentally saw you, no expression, no Hi or Bye. Nothing, everything seems to put a stop to it. I know its good for me if only I am determined to end this, but at the same time I felt like stabbing my heart with knife during this 'transition' period. How to forget someone when you like him so much, when you did not expect him to come to you to accept to be his gf? I never thought this kind of story would happen in my life. But sometimes I think back, why must he do this to me? Why is it me? Was everything fated? Or I was just the stupid one to accept him. And now? being thrown aside like a toy, like a doll? Seriously these are all terrible feelings. My heart has been broken again. I had to pretend I don't know you, I have to pretend that I don't have feelings for you, I had to stop all communication with you, I had to let go this.

Pretend that you don't have feelings for someone when you truly still like him, its really heart ache. I have to overcome all these, so that I can have a new beginning and move on. I had to do this myself because no one can help to solve my heart break but myself. If I continue, I would be hurting myself. Even if I am putting a stop to it, I am also hurting myself. At the end of the day, I just tell myself, these should not have happened in the first place, shouldn't have started, and shouldn't have communicated.

This shall be the last post about him, I HOPE SO! :(

2011-09-16T11:33:00.002+08:00

I really don't understand why it becomes you are angry with me when initially you made me angry. and now i communicate with you, you ignore me and you dont reply me.

And I dont even understand myself, why would I even bother to care about you when you had did all these to me. I was really stupid and still stupid.

The broken heart is broken into even more pieces. When i think back , i find myself stupid to accept you and we had gone too deep and now it becomes like i was the stupid one hoping for miracles to happen, or even hope that you would at least crap and joke with me although you don't belong to me. why would i even bother all these. i should have just be angry with him, hate him for playing with my feelings. everytime i talk to him about my feelings, he either just laugh and smile, or if i say somemore, he will ignore me with no answers. I'm human, i have feelings and i am not a doll for you to play. When you like it, you talk to it and touch it and care about it, when you don't like it, you just throw the doll aside and never even bother about it.

At least sometimes you would still call me once a few days, then it becomes once a few weeks, and now no more. I am seriously fucking stupid, because I still can't let go of you, and I can't forget about you and I can't have you and I still love you. I keep every single piece of hope to get close to you, to spend time with you. Everyday i wake up to go work, i look forward to catch a sight of you even though we dont talk in office. Every weekend i pray it pass faster because i feel closer to you during weekdays because we are in the same office. Isn't that stupid. Did you even know that?

My love for him has become so strong that i can even don't care what other people think but still stay strong on this love, even though there might not be a happy ending for me. I just refused to give up, I can't let go and I always think of him.

If I left the company just because I think this way I could forget him easily, I don't think this is a good idea. And its not worth it at all.

But he doesn't even care, never even show concern. No calls, no sms. NOTHING. why, because I am just nothing to him? Our relationship is not as simple as it is. Until one day I can let go this love, I can then only have a new beginning.

I hate this feelings and I dislike myself for being like this.

2011-09-11T20:16:00.003+08:00

He doesn't even know why I was upset. He doesn't even care or show concern about me. The truth hurts, especially when the 'wound' is recovering, and it got tear apart again. The feeling was terrible! That Friday I really couldn't hide my tears at work, I went to toilet and cried 3 times, and I even feel like crying when I was having dinner alone before class. But somehow rather, I still managed to attend the class attentively. But I really felt no mood. On the way back home, my tears start again, and after I reach home lie on my bed, I really couldn't control and started crying without letting my mum know that I was crying. You know how that feels, when you don't want your mum to know but you needed to cry badly to feel better. I cried until I couldn't even breath properly, nose blocked and only could breathe through the mouth, and it goes on until I fell asleep. Sat morning I woke up with swollen eyes, I can't even open my eyes fully. =( But I did feel better after a night's cry. And me and my mum went to Vivo to watch Smurfs because I told her I need to cheer up abit by watching that movie. Indeed it helped. :)

Well, if people ask me, i would really have no comments. We went in too deep, and I really loved him. Yes, as till now, I still have feelings for him and I don't deny it. He knows it too. Sigh. We just met at the wrong time and things goes wrong because I was still the 'extra' one. Sad to say but that was the truth. I really should angry with him, and hate him, because that would lessen my feelings for him. But each time I am determined to do that, I would always bump into him at work and chat with him in office online. If there is a chance for me to talk to him, why not grab it? Seriously, by doing so does not help me get out of it but I really did my best.

He say we will go out this week. I hope that's true.

I just know I really cannot let go. =X

2011-09-09T14:59:00.001+08:00

somethings are better kept silent or unexplained because it hurts more if you ask and worst its when the answer you gets breaks your heart.

at this moment, I really cannot control my tears in my heart.

i'm sorry to myself because i promise not to cry again because of this issue. :(

2011-09-05T20:33:00.002+08:00

Today i went to work with a heavy heart, because i don't really wish to see you around in office. But who knows, when i walk to the lift lobby i saw you there. we have worked there more than 1.5 years and that was the first time we met each other at the lift lobby reporting for work.

I couldn't hide the happiness in my heart when I saw him there. Thank you to who has created this chance for me. His smile and his eyes, I couldn't forget.

There are many things I can't forget, including the love for him.

Love has no right or wrong. :)

2011-09-02T18:47:00.005+08:00

I love it when that day you ask why I act like this when I see you, because at least you noticed it and you 撒娇 to me. I felt happiness at that moment. I was totally shocked when you actually will call me to help you buy lunch. I mean this has never occur before. I hate it when we chat and suddenly tell me about your gf. you told me you bought a new wallet, a prada wallet and your gf influence you. WTF... i really hate this, i hate it when you mention your gf.

Its reaching my limit. I had enough!! I hate this up and down feelings!!!! No matter how long i wait, how much i do to be nice to you, it still remains as it is. Why in the first place you want to choose me, why why why!

Today while I was taking a shower, i think of all these and my tears just flow. Its time to end it, to stop it and to let go of you....

2011-08-21T20:06:00.002+08:00

My blog has been neglected for so many weeks!!

A little update of my life, switched to study ACCA from mid of July till now, taking 3 papers, I think it was a bad choice, but I gonna do my best with all the revisions, though alot of ppl say acca is tough! but I know I will survive through! Just a pass will do for me, don't think flying colours! LOL~

Work has recently come to a point that everyone of us is discussing when should we tender. Endure through for the 13th month in Dec, and even better endure till next year Mar to get the variable bonus aka performance bonus. Yes, that was what we all discussed. I think it was the re-structuring of the whole organisation, the merger with the other division was just problems and more problems. They are just 'abnormal' people, their characters and all, terrible! So as I was deciding when to leave, my manager told us that we will be moving to another floor within the same building with two other depts and his dept was one of them. I really can't hide the happiness on my face when I heard this. This is another opportunity for me to be able to see him more often on the same floor. My first thought on my mind was I am going to postpone resigning from the company. Haha! So realistic right.

I know most of the people who know my story would think I am too silly. Its really time to let go and move on. Don't hold on to it anymore. But that's the love I had for him. Nothing is going to change, unless one day I really had no feelings for him. I know its very silly but the fact is I really loved him. :)

Anyway... life still goes on! and very hectic schedule every week with 4 days of classes! But I can do it! :D

2011-07-10T17:15:00.002+08:00

"Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely."

"Secretly loving someone is the best thing that could hurt the most."

"Sometimes, you can't stop yourself from hoping for yesterday to come back, especially if yesterday was the only future you ever wanted and needed from the start.."

I have never regret loving you from the start, even though I know we won't have a ending that I wish for. (:

2011-06-26T19:46:00.002+08:00

I stupidly believe that one day things will get better, but now I truly understood that this will not happened. Someone told me that he treats me like a doll, teddy bear etc, something that he will look at when he like it, sayang it when he suddenly wants it. To be more straight forward, like a spare one. Sometimes I really don't know why he will suddenly call me to meet up and I will happily go and see him. I want to see him because I like him. But he wants to see me, is it really because he miss me? Or he just wanted to have someone to talk to when he feels down. Like what my mum says, he has a girlfriend to talk to. I am just the spare one around. How sad can that be isn't it. It was till last wed while I was on my way home, he called. I happily thought that he wants to meet up, but actually that call was to tell me not to sms/call him that night because his gf is coming over his place. So I told him.. does he think I will want to call him? Then he said, how would he know, because I would sometimes sms him. Please.. that day I sms was because I was concerned about your workload and not those loving sms-es. I was so angry that after putting down the phone, I sms him and tell him that I will NEVER sms/call him anymore. and is he happy with my reply? But obviously there was no reply from him. I am disappointed, and disheartened after all these while of hoping and wishing. I am tired, I want to end this. My mum knows about it, and she will never allow me to go out with him anymore. She say she will follow behind me if I were to go out suddenly at night. HAHA!

Though really disheartened, but it makes me stronger! (:

The funny thing is, I might be seeing him tmr for a few hours due to a department gathering. So let's see how it goes tmr then.

我开始懂了。。

2011-05-27T20:28:00.001+08:00

I know at the end of the day, certain things have to make a choice. The optimal decision is to let go and move on. It's easier said than done. It takes time. We both know. Thank you for the heart-to-heart talk. ♥ I'm sure I'm able to walk away one day.

2011-05-25T10:27:00.003+08:00

Do you know how it feels like when your heart is crying?

I miss B so much.. he has never left my mind before...

2011-05-21T08:38:00.002+08:00

I felt like I was blinded.
In fact, I am still holding on.
I know there will not be any happy ending, unless miracle happens.
But you know why I hold on.
Because it was a miracle that you will come and talk to me in the past.
It was a miracle that we did like each other.
It was like a dream coming true.
The feeling was fantastic. Unbelievable.
But then after a month, things happened.
To others, you had used me.
To me, I know you had no choice but to let me go.
Each time we meet although we had part.
Your concern towards me. I can feel it.
I really can feel that you still like me.
But not as much as you love her.
I always ask myself each day why I am so silly.
Everyday I think of you. Even during exam periods.
How stupid can that be...
I tried very hard and my very best to stop these.
But my stubbornness kills me.
I don't want to give up yet.
I still believe there's a little chance to make it happen.
But reality says different things.
I really don't know how should I feel, what should I do.
Why must this happen to me...

2011-05-15T18:30:00.006+08:00

We are just friends who have feelings for each other but we can't be together.

I can feel it. I can feel the feelings for each other although you don't show openly.

You are more than a friend to me. <3

2011-04-25T19:41:00.000+08:00

Your attitude towards me, and your words spoken to me seems so contradicting. I really can't understand. A moment I stepping forward strongly, the next moment I felt being 'pulled back' a few steps. I really hate this!!

I can't understand you...

2011-04-16T09:29:00.001+08:00

Thanks for these sweet bitter beautiful memories baby. I'll never forget and we'll still be friends! :)

I really hope you will have time to celebrate my birthday together next week, then it would be a happy ending for us. =D

2011-04-12T06:15:00.003+08:00

Yesterday I sms him about how his work.
Then in the evening he called me. I was surprised...
The way we talk on the phone, feels like how we are in the beginning.
It was a sweet surprise..
At least I know he was not just playing with me.
Just that we met at the wrong time.
Baby... I will never forget these sweet memories between us.

The fact has sinked in my mind, but not my heart. =)

2011-04-07T19:00:00.002+08:00

baby, even though you tell me.. this is the best way for both of us, and i had to accept your decision, but i still hope one day, we will still be back together. i waited for many years that i met someone who likes me and i likes him, but it ended up this way. this is life, i got to accept it. even though everything has changed, but my feelings for you will never change baby.

thank you for those beautiful memories, it will be kept deep in my heart.

2011-04-02T10:18:00.002+08:00

第一次见到你时，我就有一种特别的感觉。
偷偷地注意你。只要能在公司时常看到你，我就开心了。
直到有一天，我发现你有女朋友了。
我好难过。因为还没有机会认识你，就要打消这个念头了。
直到有一天，你来和我开始说话。
我好开心。真的。难道是老天爷给我机会了吗？
你告诉我，你的女朋友做了一些对不起你的事。
你想要找一个新的对象，然后你可以放下她。
开始我无法接受。
但最后我答应了，因为我天真地以为会有我想要的结果。
但我现在知道我自己错了。
你告诉我，你有试着放手，但你们九年的感情，一起经历的太多了。
你放不下她，就像我现在放不下你一样。你明白吗？
你说我们现在选择结束会减低对我的伤害。
可是你有想过我的感受吗？
我对你的感情已经很深了。我没有办法就这样断绝联系。
这样对我太残忍了。我会很难受的。
我们都知道，你是喜欢我，我也喜欢你的。
就因为我输给了时间，就因为我太迟认识你，我就应该退出吗？
为什么一定要是我做出选择？
在我爱情的道路上，我已经受伤太深了。
当我慢慢恢复时，你的出现让我很开心，因为我仿佛又有了恋爱的心信。
现在呢？我有受伤了。我真的很不甘心。
可是我知道，不管我选择离开还是坚持下去，我还是会难过。
因为你没有办法放下她。
我想到最后我还是会选择放手。但不是现在。因为我做不到。
我只知道我的心真的很痛。。。

2011-03-21T17:09:00.000+08:00

We have been together 1 month. =D

2011-03-20T10:54:00.003+08:00

I talked to him about the issue again.
End up I cried myself to sleep last night.
I have never blame anyone except myself.
I seriously don't know what decision I should make,
although I know ending it is the best way.

"True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you."

I know its silly to carry on.
But you are not me, you wouldn't know how I really felt'
Don't judge me, and don't criticize or give cold blanket.

2011-03-12T19:42:00.002+08:00

My feelings for you has grown uncontrollably.
I treasure the times we spend with each other.
I love the way I am when I'm with you. <3

2011-03-07T20:59:00.001+08:00

Its not just about liking you. Its about loving you.

2011-03-06T16:39:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I really don't understand myself why am I torturing myself like this.
Why would I allow myself to be stuck into this kind of situation.

I cannot control my tears, I cried till I sleep last night.
I am crying while I typing this entry.

I really don't understand myself anymore.
I am just hurting myself if I choose to continue.
But I will also be hurt if I choose to end.

It just hurts and crying is all I can do to make myself feel better.

Don't ask me what happened. I really don't wish to comment anything.

2011-03-01T21:50:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I asked myself if its worth it for making this decision.
It takes time I know, but the question is how much time is needed and how long to wait.

I try not to think too much.

I am happy that I found someone whom I like and he likes me. (:

2011-02-22T21:43:00.003+08:00

No matter good or bad, a decision has been made. 220212.

I just had pri sch gathering during CNY, poly gathering last weekend. Love it! Tmr meeting friends again. Thurs, Fri, Sat classes!

Life has somehow changed for me recently, with a smile! =)

My hair has finally got improvement!

2011-02-16T19:24:00.001+08:00

你是否爱过
你爱他多过他爱你的人
你还记得吗

你是否爱过
他有种真命天子般的人
你还记得吗

相爱以后终于分手
分手以后又想重来

如果能重来诚实地去对待
彼此都没疑猜
就没有理由分开
如果能重来回忆当作尘埃
心不曾被伤害
就能无瑕疵地爱
但是重来
却不能保证爱的成功或失败
要重来多少次后才会明白

你是否爱过
让你日夜忘不了的人
你还记得吗

我们曾爱过
不同种类不同面孔的人
你记得哪个他

相爱以后终于分手
分手以后又想重来

如果能重来诚实地去对待
彼此都没疑猜
就没有理由分开
如果能重来回忆当作尘埃
心不曾被伤害
就能无瑕疵地爱
但是重来
却不能保证爱的成功或失败
要重来多少次后才会明白

如果能重来诚实地去对待
彼此都没疑猜
就没有理由分开
如果能重来回忆当作尘埃
心不曾被伤害
就能无瑕疵地爱但是重来
却不能保证爱的成功或失败
要重来多少次后才会明白

要重来多少次后才会明白

2011-02-04T20:34:00.001+08:00

给我一个理由忘记

只是哪怕周围再多人感觉还是一个人
每当我笑了心却狠狠的哭著...

2011-01-22T21:58:00.004+08:00

I'm utterly disappointed with guys.

I hate it that I encountered these types, but I'm glad at the same time that I see more clearly about guys now.

I really don't know how should I feel.

2011-01-20T20:59:00.006+08:00

‎"It's not wrong to give it all for love; it's not wrong to love a person so much. Sometimes, the only thing wrong is the person you chose to love.."

2011-01-03T20:59:00.006+08:00

2010 was considering quite alright. No major ups and downs except change my job in early 2010 to a oil and gas industry. Its never easy, service oriented and the company culture is something I cannot adapt too. But still, trying my best to survive as long as I could.

Happy notes: Brought my mum to Sentosa - Waterfront Station and see see look look around outside resorts world. Hehe! Manage to keep letting my hair grow longer! And somemore etc, which I can't think of! Haha! But overall, its a year with more happy moments compared to last time. =)

Its a brand new year ahead. 2011!

All I wish its work life be better from tmr onwards. Sometimes I just so reluctant and scare to go to work. Its not healthy at all. I need to find a solution soon. I know I need to. I never have these kind of feelings before ever since I started work. Sigh!

But still, life still goes on. The only 安慰 going work is the colleagues! I really appreciate that fate brought us together working. If not because of them, I think I would have give up even earlier.

Happy 2011 everyone! And to be happier in 2011 for me and everyone! :)

Not forgetting! Keep fit & slim! I need to slim down, seriously!

2010-12-25T19:19:00.005+08:00

2010-12-24T20:37:00.005+08:00

Though I have never really understood the joy of Christmas or celebrates Christmas, but still want to wish everyone I know Merry Christmas & Happy New Year 2011! :D

I read through my last year's blog entries. It was crap! Haha! Last year this time was crap, but this year much happier though there ain't any celebrations! I shall enjoy every moment of this long weekend till Mon! Hehe!

Eeyore is the cutest ever in my eyes! :P

2010-12-19T21:05:00.006+08:00

Oh no! Its been a month since the last time I blogged. Does this shows that I'm too busy? Or simply don't have the mood to write anything.

Anyway, for the past few weekend, me and my mum have been cleaning up the house and painting the rooms. Finally today we finished the whole house, I felt very bad because my mum did most of the painting, because I was inexperienced and also my right arm very weak, easily tired because I broke it before. But still, I did my best to help her whenever I can. A good new is we no longer rent out the room, now me and my mum sleep at the other room, the master bedroom becomes the study room and mini gym! We just bought the cross trainer back. I felt so fat ever since I stopped going to gym to exercise and never control my diet. So now, I gained like 4-5kgs! I really cannot stand it anymore because I'm never felt so fat before! I'm going to slim down as fast as possible. Depending on my determination! Hope I can achieve it before my school starts! Yes, my part time study will start in near end Jan 2011. I'm so nervous and afraid. I wonder if I can cope with work and study at the same time. A very big challenge for myself in 2011. I really hope everything will be fine. =)

During end of Nov, me, my aunt, my mum and my cousin went to Penang for a 4d3n short trip. I would say its not worth the money. =X The 2nd day I vomited because of the mountain ride up and down. The 3rd day I had diarhhoea for 1/2 a day because I think I ate something not right. Then the flight delayed for 2 hours when returning back home. Oh well.. no comments much for this trip, a good and bad experience. :P

Its coming to an end to 2010. I start to look back the things I have done, and the decisions I have made. It brought back alot of memories. Those happy and sad memories just flow in my mind every night. I felt I have learnt alot, no matter is work or life. Work wasn't really happy for the past few weeks, I survived through. Next will be the change in Jan2011 with the new boss to report to. I wonder how it will go, but let's just move on and see how.

The love life of mine has been pretty quiet and calm all these years with a few disruption which make me learnt the lesson the hard way. It makes me even more believe that there ain't any good guys around in this world. If there is, probably you are just lucky. I can't deny that sometimes I envy friends or people that I know are happily in love with their partners. But sometimes I feel, getting a boyfriend isn't the most important issue right now in my life. I think study, money and work is more important and not forgetting spending time with my mum! Which sometimes she will nag that I am too close to her, if one day she leaves me, I'm going to be upset for a very long time. Sigh! Like what people always say, just let go and move on. After all these years, I can truly say that even if you try all means to mend the broken heart, its still broken. It still has cracks, it still has scars. It will never be the same again. Sometimes I ask myself, if given another chance for me to rewind back to the past, I would rather not have a relationship with a guy, but on the other hand, if I wasn't being taught the lesson, I wouldn't have been 'matured' enough to see the world of love-hate relationship. So it does help me in growing up isn't it? Haha! Contradicting growth.

Let's just hope 2011 would be a better year for me and everyone I know! :)

I love to be alone, but I hate to be lonely.

2010-11-21T20:26:00.000+08:00

I think it takes time for everything to be back as usual like in the past.

Work life isn't easy and smooth.

2010-11-17T16:18:00.003+08:00

Work has suddenly come to a point where I feel I cannot take it. Its just 6 months and I'm already feeling so stressed up. If I say I want a job that pays me well but no stress, would it sound very childish? I really don't know how long more I can carry on. I know stress can be a challenging way to train our personality, but sometimes too much stress can make things worse. I just hope that things will get better in next few months.

If I just leave because things get tough, I feel like a loser. Because I must train myself hard enough to endure this obstacles. No matter how tough it goes, I must be strong. That's my thoughts now. I want to be a better me, so that I can survive at any work environment in future.

Last sat went to ate at Kim Family Restaurant @ Sunset Way. There are alot of restaurants, it was my first time there dining. Korean food was nice! Its been so long we met, and so long since I had traditional korean food. =) After dinner, we went to Bukit Timah Plaza and play pool. Its been like more than 4 years since I play pool, it was so much fun! I love it! Hope can play pool often! :D

寂寞寂寞就好

2010-11-07T20:31:00.006+08:00

"我寂寞寂寞就好. 这时候谁都别来安慰拥抱.
就让我一个人去痛到, 受不了伤到快疯掉,
死不了就还好. 我寂寞寂寞就好,
你真的不用来我回忆里微笑.
我就不相信我会笨到, 忘不了赖着不放掉.
人本来就寂寞的, 我总会把你戒掉."

2010-11-06T19:27:00.005+08:00

Today we went to Botanic Gardens for a walk. Seriously i don't even have the determination to run to burn some fats! But it was a nice walk around and a little exercise for my body after a long time.

My gym membership finally ended, i can save some money for other things. I really want to burn away my body fats, its increasing so fast! I seriously need to cut down my diet, be more discipline in taking herbalife shakes for dinner instead of taking all the carbo! My cross trainer will only be with me probably Dec. I need to be more discipline, more determined, more cautious with my body! I want to be slim and fit!

Yes, next week I will start my intensive programme! JIAYOU! I CAN DO IT! :D

I'm enjoying every minute of my three days long weekend. I like this kind of relaxing time, not stressed by work. Oh ya, my penang trip's confirmed and booked! 25-28Nov! Hehe!!! Excited.. finally a short holiday from this stressful life!

are you too shy, or purely ignore no matter how I try to get to know you.

2010-10-31T20:23:00.003+08:00

This week felt like crap at work. Its hard not to be affected by the stress at work. I felt so stress for the past whole week. I felt like crying so badly. But I told myself, I'm matured enough to handle this, I must find the motivation to work even better. But the stress on me was too heavy that I can't control my feelings. I start to have the thought of how long can I stay in this kind of stressful environment. I really just hope that things will get better in future.

Sometimes I felt like crying out wholeheartedly so that I will feel much better.

Yesterday went to Sengkang for Missy's farewell cum baby shower dinner party. I was there early to help to prepare the food. It was my first time stepping into sengkang. So I decided to take bus home instead of mrt, then when I sat down in the bus my paperbag was wet! It was because the prawns poke the hole in my zip lock bag, then the sauce leak out. I was like so frustrated! Lucky I got another plastic bag, spoilt my whole bus journey! I left at around 9pm and I reached home ard 11pm! It was a freaking LONG bus journey! Regretted totally!

Missy! Miss you!! Hope I can go Philippines next year to find you and we go to the beach together! =D

Sometimes I prefer straight forward character because the person can be frank with me, because I dislike that kind of guessing game. If yes means yes, if no means no. But I can't even be straight forward with my feelings. Oh well, contradicting isn't it.

Once bitten, twice shy.

2010-10-24T10:11:00.004+08:00

Yesterday went to Princess Venus at somerset to do my manicure/pedicure. Love it! (: Lunch at F.I.S.H was so-so, i think because i was too hungry until i am full that kind of feelings! Haha! Then on the way home it was raining so heavily and scary! Because of the thunderstorm. On my way to orchard, saw a motorbike buang! I really pray that both of them are ok. It was not a good feeling to see this kind of situation. Somemore I love to ride on a bike as a passenger of course! I do not have any courage to get the license ok. =P

I just managed to finish my report for my work. It was a tough one! I feel like i'm lost with words. Oh well, at least i completed it! :D

I tried my best to walk out of this sad memories but I'm always defeated by it. It doesn't feel good at all. Sigh! I don't even know if I have the courage and faith to have a new relationship in the future after being so hurt. I don't understand myself either sometimes! Recently some of my friends broke up, what's wrong? Love is so fragile nowadays is it?

If I tell you I like you, would you reply the same?

2010-10-17T19:28:00.003+08:00

There's so much changes going ahead. I don't know if I could take it all. I can't say anything until the changes are finalized. I was shocked and speechless. My heart's crying. But I appeared calm on the outside. Oh well. I also don't know what I am writing now.

Tmr the new colleague will be with us. I have to train her. I feel stressed indeed! Haha! I scare I will not teach her probably or she don't understand what I talking about. Well, let's see how it goes. Anyway, at least I'm looking forward to her joining our team. Let's work hard and smart together! :D

Ok, I'm tired. Oh ya, finally went to trim thin my hair and do treatment. I love my hair now! HEHE!

2010-10-03T19:34:00.004+08:00

Quote :
"No person has the right to condemn you on how you repair your heart,
because no one knows how much you’re hurting."

2010-10-02T09:34:00.005+08:00

A little update. Its October already! Time flies! :D

On the 25/9 morning, I decided to go down starhub shop and early renew my contract. But i didn't know that they already changed their 'rules'. in the past, if after 1 year only need to pay the 'penalty' $100. but now its $200 and cannot even request to waive off and get any vouchers. Shit right! I call the starhub hotline until I almost vomit blood. Then at the starhub shop, I got the phone in less than 30 mins. But I paid a higher price even after I trade in my htc touch diamond2. If you ask if its worth it, i would definitely say YES! I was pretty amazed by the phone, so many android applications and i can customized my phone beautifully. Haha! I'm just loving my phone more and more each day. :P I've been looking for a pouch for my phone, but hard to find at those shops so ytd night I went to sign up a paypal account and went to ebay and bought two. one from overseas and one from local. Hopefully I never get cheated! I LOVE MY HTC DESIRE!!

Our dept replacement, he's leaving due to personal reasons. Now we are looking for replacement again and my boss discussed with me and decide I will take over his rigs to manage and the new person who's coming in will back end support me until one day she/he's stable and can take over from me. Because we also scare later the new person after a while say don't want to work again. Which is a bad impression of our dept too. Everything will kick off in Nov, i have to handle headcount of 382 crews. The biggest challenge! I believe I can do it, if I can plan my time nicely! JIAYOU! :DD

I'm been sick this whole week. First was sore throat, then nose blocked, then no voice, then on and off nose blocked. I think must be the weather these days and plus the hazy air. Sigh! I hope I can recover by sunday! Because monday there's this handsome candidate coming for interview, and i have to sit in also! My boss wants us to learn interviewing skills! HAHAHA! Please let me recover asap!!

2010-09-12T14:29:00.002+08:00

I would say I enjoyed my long weekend alittle. Fri morning had mac breakfast, then in the afternoon went to Bugis junction and had ministry of food with my mum, shopped around but bought nothing! Then sat accompanied my mum to see doctor and then head down to JP to had our NYNY! Total damage on food close to a hundred bucks! I can't believe it! Now must save more! HAHA!

The other day I went for the course interview at UNISIM. At first I was not lost, only when I was on my way out, then i realised the downwards escalator is on the other side, so paiseh! haha! but the interview was quite alright, ask alot of boring qns. And in the end, he said "I wish you good luck!", so let's see if i got into the accountancy course or not in Nov.

Last thurs, I met up with Sam. So long nv see her! Updated each other and can't believe that she's going back phils in Oct and will not return to Singapore. I will miss her! Then when I was back in Magenta, my ex-boss was there too, and he wanted to hug me cuz very long never see me. Haha! I was kinda shocked! But anyway, it was nice to see the rest of them after so long. I promise Sam to go to her farewell dinner at her house before she returns back to philippines. =D

I don't know why I'm still thinking of you when I'm not supposed to.

2010-09-05T09:24:00.002+08:00

I was supposed to go yellow ribbon run this morning, but it started to rain at 4am, and i was so upset for two nights because the weather was so hot and humid that i could not sleep well. so since its raining, my mum said why not don't go. If we still go, end up raining and run in the rain then sick. Haha! So in the end we never go for the run. Slacking at home, probably my mum will drag me to do housework with her.

Another long weekend to look forward to this coming week! =D The other day i apply for the bachelor of accountancy in UNISIM and then few days ago they called me, i was abit shocked because usually the interview will not happen till near the closing date. but this time so fast they ask me, so will be going there on wed 430pm. Its been so many years since i stepped into the ground of ngee ann. So many memories stucked in my head. Sigh! Anyway, i guess once i start study next year, i would be more stressed and broke. HAHA! Let's see how then. A new path journey in my life.

Time for some breakfast with mummy! BYE! =D

2010-08-29T19:38:00.002+08:00

Ok, since there's nothing for me to watch on tv, because of the national rally, decided to write an entry. Well, past weeks i was in quite a happy mood because of something. then when i got the truth of something that i wanted to know but i was scare that the truth might not be what i want to hear, i suddenly waken up! stop dreaming and face the reality. i guess the reality is telling me, advising me that i should be contented with my single life now. Sigh! That's the part of contradicting life. Anyway, it hurts till its numb sometimes.

I starting to feel very stressed at work, not because i'm not doing a good job, but there bound to be obstacles in your career path, and its up to you whether you can handle it or not. But i will always do my best of cuz, but i guess the oil & gas industry are always super fast paced and stressed and full of politics and we must be always careful with what we say and what we do. Still in the learning process, i really hope i can cope. Then i enrol the UNISIM bachelor of accountancy for Jan 2011 intake. If everything's successful and i start studying, i will feel even more stress, because its been 3years plus since i last studied. haha! work and study part time is the biggest challenge in my life next year!

I like this phrase: "It's not wrong to give it all for love; it's not wrong to love a person so much. Sometimes, the only thing wrong is the person you chose to love.." Its meaningful!

2010-08-15T13:33:00.004+08:00

Hmm. its been a week since last updated. i remember just a week before national day i was sick, fever for 2 days. then came the long weekend during the national day but i totally forgot what i have done, probably slacking and rotting at home most of the time. haha! then this week seems so short, because only worked 4 days. (: and weekend again was slacking and rotting at home. sometimes i just plain lazy to go out during weekend alone, because everywhere is crowded!

I'm still not used to walking to lakeside mrt every morning to go to work. I'm so used to taking bus there. Sigh, the buses morning always so packed with students and their big bags, sometimes five buses drove past without a chance to board. So i was super duper disappointed that I decided to walk to the train station, and always so hot no matter how slow I walked. *grr* That's the annoying part!

Anyway, recently my company had a new girl. Though not my dept, but I really can't stand her crazy-ness over this malay guy, which I also think he's quite good looking. She can be so daring, asking the guy to go home together, shout out his name like there's no one around. Totally like a bitch! But past two days, her behaviour changed. Then I came to know that she's now pestering another guy from downstairs. I totally cannot tolerate her! Like a siao za bo around in office. Lucky i don't need to interact much with her, if not I will feel like slapping her!

"I finally sorted out my stubborn thoughts that I really should stop all these nonsense. Because I truly know that at the end of the day, you can't give me what I want, and I will be the one being hurt."

Something troubled in my heart, that I wish he was referring to me. But then, I wonder if its really what I thought, will I have the courage to accept. SIGH!!

2010-08-07T12:06:00.006+08:00

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love". Quote - Neil Gaiman

2010-07-30T22:41:00.002+08:00

"Feelings can't be controlled and when I miss you, it can't be controlled either."

2010-07-24T13:49:00.008+08:00

This is not an EMO post, in case you misunderstood.

Humans changes as they grow older, like the things you think few years back may not be as impt as you think of it now. When i was younger, i used to see 'love' as a very impt factor in life, yes indeed it was still now but not as strong as i thought it was years back. Frankly speaking, i will never forget how my heart was being smashed to the ground and took days months years to fix it back myself. you may say the way i describe was impossible. then i shall reply you, wait till your heart is being smashed. i gave it all for the relationship, didn't know that one day all these were not appreciated. just by giving an excuse or a reason and everything changed and we don't belong to each other. everytime whatever i say or whatever decision i make, i always think of the others but then why when people want to hurt me, they never thought of my feelings. humans change, so does feelings change. so as i fix my heart back in a piece, along the way i opened it up again, because i still believe, there's someone who will never break my heart and smashed it to the ground. but still, it was broken a few times. sometimes i wonder, how many times you have the courage to let your heart be broken again and again. don't you feel that its time to keep it closed and keep it to yourself, and you are the only one who protects it. but sometimes in life, you will also tend to allow it to be broken because feelings cannot be controlled. the advice my mum told me, i always never take it to heart, until days where it really happened to me in my life, i truly knew why she advise me all that. there are alot of unwritten contents in life where you can't let it out from your heart and that's the worst feelings within you because there's no one who can really understand how you really felt. i shall not complain because that's life and still got a long way to go to experience and learn lessons the hard way.

i find it very ironic whenever i made up my mind not to care, not to be bothered about it, then the communication flow came back suddenly without any notice. everyday i convince myself that i have no feelings for that person and this is just crap... yet i can't remove that person out of my mind. why am i so silly then.

爱只有简单笔画, 却比想象复杂.

Happy moments this month would be early confirmation from work and salary increment after confirmation. I had a Kbox session at Jurong Safra with tong, it was great and i enjoyed the eng songs more. (; I'm still deciding whether to take HR or Accountancy degree. Hopefully my colleague can study together with me for the accountancy. But no matter what degree, i must start my studies next year! =D

2010-07-11T16:02:00.008+08:00

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

Oh oh oh
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

This song reminds me of too many memories!

2010-07-10T14:05:00.005+08:00

感情被懂得是一种幸福, 等待着被懂得是一种孤独. (:

I wonder where have all my friends gone. Sometimes i make an effort to organise and ask if want to have gathering, only one or two replies and the rest just act blur. Can't they at least reply their comments on it. That's why I rather stay at home every weekend alone.

One more week later, I will be in Seadrill for 2 months! So fast that I can't believe it myself. I enjoyed working there because beside serious work moments, there are always crazy moments and laughters. It felt like a family. Its a nice feeling! And monday onwards, we will be shifting our workstations and i'm looking forward to it and also to decorate my workstation beautifully! (=

I've not seen you for a long time.

2010-06-26T00:04:00.003+08:00

Hopeful Heart Bear (;
I wish someone would buy all the care bears just for me.

2010-06-23T21:41:00.002+08:00

Work for the past two weeks were very busy! I had to work overtime for two days till about 7pm. I admit there are mistakes around, but I learnt from all these mistakes and truly understand that why time is so impt when you are working for an international company and different time zone. Lucky everything turn out to be alright after the payroll cycle. I really like what I'm doing now, and the people around, everyday like a family. Though sometimes heard my manager scolding my supervisor when he doesn't do his work well. But after that, we still talk and laugh like one big family. The next payroll cycle going to start soon beginning of every month till the 15th. This time round, i even have to counter check my colleague's payroll, a big challenge for me but I know I can do it! =DD

Ever since i color my hair, i felt so irritated when my hair's not smooth and obedient. It felt alittle dry, i know i should go do treatment, but treatment doesn't mean no harm to the hair, its also putting chemicals to treat the hair which i don't think its good for my hair after a long period. So i went to buy the dove damage hair treatment conditioner, haa! hopefully it does help a little better. Sigh! I should have just highlight rather then dye twice and then highlight, which is three times damage! I want back my silky black smooth hair!

sometimes i wish i had a 'him' in my life. a 'him' whom i love and loves me. a 'him' who i can go out with and chat on phone when i'm bored. a 'him' who will lend me his shoulders when i'm upset. a 'him' who knows how to cheer me up when i'm down. a 'him' who i will look forward to see everyday. a 'him' who really loves me, and be faithful to me. but after a sleep, i will forget about all these silly thoughts already. =/

GOOD NIGHT!

2010-06-13T18:52:00.014+08:00

Definition of Emotion - "Emotion is associated with mood, temperament, personality and disposition, and motivation."

Jim Rohn was an American entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker. When I first know this person, I thought he was just an ordinary speaker till last year when we heard his overseas call at Korea Herbalife Extravaganza, his advice for everyone in the hall. His heartfelt motivational spirit for Herbalife distributors. Although I'm not into the business, but his quotes were meaningful. That was the first and last time I heard his voice, before he passed away in Dec 2009.

I am always exposed to this word - Emotion. The other day my mentor was telling us, if you remove the 'E', you will have the 'motion'. I think it applies perfectly in the work life. If you are affected by emotions, you will not be able to progress. I also think it applies to the love life. If you are affected by emotions, you will never able to let go and move on. Emotions play a big part in our life.

I have thought it through over the past few days. I was so unhappy, but I was able to put aside the emotions and concentrate with my work duties. I admit it affects me, slow down my pace at work and feel distracted. But from now on, I don't want to go through this anymore. I want to focus on my career. Being busy and keeping my mind occupied soothes my mood because I won't think of those craps so much. My manager told us that, we should not depend on others to feel happy. We can make ourselves feel happy and we should love ourselves more.

Yes! I must love myself more from now on. =D

If its not meant to be yours, there's no point holding on to it. I truly understood. =)

2010-06-12T21:59:00.009+08:00

goodbye to the black hair, welcome new colours! =D

2010-06-11T23:36:00.012+08:00

"When you have loved unconditionally one man and lost that love, it leaves a wound that never heals, a sad and broken heart, a void forever."

2010-06-09T20:46:00.002+08:00

I felt like crying so much when I was on my way back home on train. But I was afraid people looking at me. Then the moment I came home and went to bath, my tears just flow. I didn't know I would feel so sad. I didn't know that I would be crying while typing this entry. I didn't know it will hurt me so much since I was the one who decide to be like this. I didn't know that I will cry so badly this time.

2010-06-06T10:50:00.004+08:00

sometimes we tend to complicate things when it can be that simple in life.
love comes with hurt, if no then you come and prove me wrong.

Its hurting me that I just want to cry out loud!

2010-06-05T09:09:00.004+08:00

I want to get these things by end this weekend.

- A new wallet, slightly smaller than my current one. Actually I already decide the one I want to buy which is from Charles & Keith, BUT I scare later I buy already, the next few days they come out with new designs! Haha! But then I waited so long, they only came out with one new design, and its bulky! So I think I will go get the deep pink colour one! ;)

- I want to buy new flats (no heels for me pls!), pink, black, and maybe other colours! Hehe!

- I want to get more clothes for work! Its so boring every week wear almost the same clothes. Been looking at the online shop, but for the past 1 month plus, nothing caught my attention or give me the urge to buy! Sigh. So hard to buy clothes leh but anyway now GSS period! I will just shop around at JP would be enough I think. Too lazy to go far far away places and somemore I'm shopping alone! )=

- Some cute cute stuffs to put on my desk and make it nicely and beautiful! Maybe get a new hp pouch! Hehe!

I can't wait to change my diamond to HTC Desire! =DDD

ANYWAY! Work so far was great! The colleagues are like crazy bunch of people, which includes my manager! LOL! Ytd I wanted to eat subway, then everyone really ate subway for lunch! Like one big family! =D Then next monday, another new colleague joining us, and guess what! He's my sec sch friend's bf. Actually I not very close with my sec sch friend either, but I just know the bf's name and saw his face in fb that's all. I really hope he don't know me as in don't find me familiar la. HAHA! Well, singapore's really small!

2010-05-30T21:07:00.007+08:00

If each time I write your name down when I miss you,
I probably need dozens of note books for me to write.
Many things or rather what I really felt, I kept it in my heart secretly and privately.
Because I'm not brave enough to face the answer that'll probably hurt me.

Its another brand new week ahead!
Payroll cycle 1st - 15th of each month! Time to stay focused and work hard! (:

2010-05-29T16:29:00.006+08:00

Something's wrong with my phone recently.

When i type www.facebook.com, it will always be directed to http://m.facebook.com which that's not the web page I want! I want to go in to the normal FB website like when I'm at home, then also can see who's online that I can chat with. And till now, the problem still exist so I gave up on trying to fix it!

Then this morning, I was browsing Google chrome extension web page, there are alot of applications which I can download on my google chrome browser. I downloaded the facebook photo zoom where I don't need to keep clicking on the photos, I just have to put my mouse to the picture it will enlarge for me at the side, and very clear too! Loving it! And I also downloaded this IMO web chat - https://imo.im/ where I can log in to both my msn and facebook chat account at the same time. Why didn't I discover this web messenger earlier! It does help me when I'm in the office. Without logging into my facebook account, I can chat with people logged in to FB! Hehe! That's what amaze me the whole morning!

As usual, I was home the whole day. All the CSI latest series I already watch till the last episode, the CSI LV 10, CSI MIAMI 8, CSI NY 6 - all completed! Then the ending was like, going to link to the next series! Oh man, how long am I going to wait before I can watch them? Hmmm!

Tmr morning go Toa Payoh meet my mum after her appt with chinese doc, then probably watch Shrek at either AMK or Yishun. Wa lao! Yishun again! Sometimes I wish I don't need to step into Yishun for the rest of my life! But then, too bad, my aunt lives there and my another aunt opened a pet grooming shop there recently, I got to be there tmr to congratulate her and also eat buffet.

"I knew it deep in my heart. I guess no matter what happens, this fact will not change, unless miracle happens, or you admit you break the rule of this game."

2010-05-28T16:01:00.002+08:00

The other day I came across this phrase at Facebook - "There's that one person you will never really get over no matter how long." Then memories starts to flow in, and only that person came into the picture. He's someone I loved truly when we were still together, putting in the efforts in our relationship. So when everything turns wrong and we parted, I felt so terribly sad and hurt. I know its time to move on and stop thinking about our past, but I still cannot forget everything completely, that includes him as well. Its like every single thing connect to you. Like motor bikes, gold fish, certain songs, places like yishun, cathay, town, lots and lots more. I really let go everything, but sometimes some things just reminds me of the memories. So there's really one person you will never really get over no matter how long. Because first love's always unforgettable and hurts the most too. Like I said, its not that I hate him or I still got feelings for him, but its just those memories that are left behind for me to take good care of. Therefore, feelings change but memories don't. (:

Finally its raining now. Weather for the past few days were unbearable, can't sleep well at night too. Ok, its time to go prepare and head out to the Nutrition Club at Bishan. =D

2010-05-24T21:03:00.007+08:00

Why should I even feel upset when I know I'm just NOTHING to you.
You don't even care whether I'm happy or sad or feel like crying!

I just want to be happy.

2010-05-23T10:30:00.004+08:00

I WILL GET HTC DESIRE THIS YEAR! I PROMISE! =DD
The perfect phone for me, Android, 1 Ghz speed! I LOVE YOU!!

2010-05-22T22:32:00.005+08:00

There's a lot of things that I can't say out, I can only keep it in my heart.
Its really a terrible feeling within. I guess it will hurt less if I don't say it out.

They always says time will help you forget certain things in life. But the question is, how long will it take to completely forget all those. Even after all these years, there are still so many things I remembered.

2010-05-21T23:39:00.000+08:00

So sweet of my friend! HAHAHAHA!

2010-05-19T21:39:00.003+08:00

I was feeling down for the past few days. The weather make it worse! Don't know why it keep raining since Sunday. It rained early in the morning, and when its time for me to go home after work. Yup, and i really need something or someone to cheer me up badly. :(

But well, i think i feel better now. Probably cause by the pms! being a woman = troublesome!

Anyway, work was ok. 1st two days was quite free and bored. Today finally got things to do. And the boss was in today, she's a very funny person. =)

I seriously need to get clothes for working. I damn lazy to shop out on the shopping malls, because I'm addicted to online shopping. But I haven been buying for about 1 month! My hands's itchy! But all the clothes these few weeks doesn't have anything I like. Hmm...

was it fate, or just coincidence? but at least i smiled.

2010-05-17T22:25:00.002+08:00

Its the end of the 3 days event at Expo. Toilet was a big big problem for the ladies! Haha! But overall, I enjoyed to the fullest! Especially the last part where the speakers from Korea was so funny and entertaining that I dont want it to end so fast! =DD

Today's the 1st day official at my new job. Bored at times, because the rest were busy closing payroll. Perhaps I do things too fast, I will try to slow down my pace! =P But i miss my friend so badly! after work, i went back to raffles place to find her and then had dinner with her. =DD i miss her the most, and not forgetting miss raffles place. I hope this is the right path i took. I just want to be happy. But you can never be happy always in your life. So now, I feel happy and sad at the same time.

"You held my hands. I fell in love with you. You were my everything. And then you changed, let go of me, broke my heart. Yes, I will never forget the pains I went through at that time. You make me realised that being in a relationship is not just about holding hands, going out but its about knowing each other and understand each other. Yes, i want a man who understands me and love me wholeheartedly."

2010-05-15T21:35:00.004+08:00

HERBALIFE EXTRAVAGANZA 2010 - SINGAPORE EXPO

2010-05-13T17:24:00.003+08:00

Ytd was my last day with Magenta, alot of mixed feelings. But for sure, I wasn't happy at all the whole time. I really treasure the time we spend together in here with Sam. She's really someone who i can talk to regardless of what I want to talk about. I really miss her, felt like crying when I was saying the last goodbye to her ytd. But I know we will sure still meet up for lunch and gatherings. I promise! Farewell lunch was at Grand Copthrone's Cafe Brio, buffet again! It was the 2nd time i been there, not much comments about the food because I'm not a buffet type person. HAHA!

I'm getting really excited!! For the Herbalife Extravaganza tmr till sun! I know its gonna be crazy, fun and happy! I love herbalife family because I always feel so happy when we are all together, though training might be draggy but I'm still looking forward so much to it because this year they held at singapore expo!!! can you believe it? so near us while other countries have to fly all the way here. we are just a mrt ride away! last year i went to Korea for holiday and the event. So this year I save alot! Woohooo~~!! :DDD We will be going down to register tmr and can't wait to buy the merchandise too, i really hope i can buy what i want!! because the stocks are always running low so fast! *PRAY HARD*

At the same time, starting to worry about my new job. I feel so confused, like i dont know if i did the right move, the right decision to leave. I wonder if the job scopes are really the ones i'm looking for. I have to start interacting with new people, getting used to the new environment and then no more freedom during working hours. I know that sometimes if you want something, you will need to sacrifice something. Life's never smooth always in your life. But i still feel so sucky now. I really hope everything will be fine in my new path journey of my life. That's all I ask for.

That day someone was taking about - "What it really means by in a relationship?" So what it really means when you are in a relationship with someone? the question make my heart paused because what answer you have, doesn't mean the other half have the same answer. Then I thought, do I NEED a boyfriend or do I WANT a boyfriend? that's a big difference after all. (:

2010-05-09T19:46:00.003+08:00

Finally my friends uploaded the photos we took during our gathering on 30 Apr. By looking at the photos, really brightens up my day! =D

Anyway, I really went to Bugis just now, but when I reach there and look at the crowd, I really have no mood to shop. So end up I bought the durian strudel for my mum and then I went home after that. Then I saw 1 fire engine and 4 ambulances at the bus stop near my house, 2 buses crashed together. I was shocked, I just hope that no one's hurt badly in that accident. (:

Tmr my replacement will report to work. So I will be doing the hand over tmr till thurs I guess? Then its like I have no privacy because she'll be at my desk too. I wonder ask her to come in so fast for wad? Sigh! No more fb and msn from tmr onwards and everyday I must be there before 9am, in case she's there earlier.

1 last week, 4 more days in Magenta, and 5 days till Herbalife Asia Extravaganza @ Singapore Expo! Weee~! =D

2010-05-06T20:53:00.002+08:00

Today's training at new company was very theory! The monitor screen is big! So everyone's really working. Never see them surf other websites. And no facebook for me whole day! I felt so weird. Haha! And they block msn on the computer. So I can't chat except sms-ing on my phone. I think I really need to get a better phone! Can't wait to get a new phone in Oct when I re-contract. =) During lunch, i went back to raffles to meet missy and chester for lunch. then rush back to office. its a nice environment but i know alot of challenges ahead of me once I start officially on 17 may. But first, let me enjoy my life to the max! Perhaps shopping on sun alone? Haha! I want new wallet, bag and lots more! =P

I really want to watch Iron Man 2 so badly. Supposed to watch it with my friends next tues, but i totally forgot that I have a event to attend with my mum on tues too. So movie was cancelled, the rest of the dates they cannot make it. So sad! I really want to watch it so badly! Anyone wanna watch with me? If not, anyone can download it on computer and we watch tgt at home? hahahaha! craving for Iron Man 2!! =P

2010-05-05T14:48:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow i will be going to my new company for a day's training. Actually they requested that if I can go there and learn first, would be good. I really don't know what will it be like tmr. I'm so nervous like shit for the past few days! Haha! I had to report at 8am! But good thing is they end at 5pm! Hehe! I really hope everything turns out fine tmr!!!

That day i was calculating my leave encashment but i forgot to pro-rate. I was expecting to get more and in the end, only a little bit! Sigh.

Anyway, this fri will be on 1/2 day leave as well because of my mum. Then last night she said to me, actually I don't need to take 1/2 day. Hmm, she's having chinese doc appt at 3pm. Everytime takes about 1-2hours so she will finish at around 4-5pm. So i took 1/2 day, i will leave around 1pm. I think I can go home rest for 1-2hours before I take bus down to bukit timah meet her lo. Felt like wasted my 1/2 day leave, but then if I nv take leave, how to meet her at 5pm? *GRR* So troublesome!

Then ytd night after work went to trim my fringe, she trim it thin again! I prefer it to be thicker though. What to do, let it grow back lo. =P

Yup, I'm stil feeling so nervous. No mood at all.

2010-05-04T11:10:00.008+08:00

I been having mixed feelings as it gets nearer to the day when I report for my new job. I'm happy, worried, nervous, stressed, sad, feel like crying! Sometimes in life, you have to sacrifice something to get something. that's reality. so since I choose to leave, I will have to give up my freedom. Haha! Hopefully I still can msn there. I hate the feeling of knowing no one there, and then start to learn everything all over again. Its tough, but I know I can do it with the help of time. =)

Finally last night I can sleep more comfortably compared to over the weekend where the weather was freaking hot and humid. My room no air con! So the fan doesn't help much either. I wanted to cry so much last night, but I was having headache and gum pain, so in the end I fell asleep. Haha! Anyway, crying to me is like a regular hobby/habit. Maybe I am just more emotional, little things I saw or I heard from online or tv, I can also cry. Haha! I like crying, because it makes me feel better and also sort out my thoughts. But of cuz, cry too much at night also not good, because you have difficulty to sleep and breath properly, esp with my mum in the same room, I wouldn't want to let her know that I'm crying because I dont want her to worry about me.

I heard this song the other day on tv. Very nice sad song!
"爱情从二人同行变成我一个默默承受. 我想过很多以后, 幻想过快乐也预约心痛, 爱就像是偏执的风带我升空, 只问前进忘了要怎么降落. 爱你不重我要自己不要放开手,不痛不痛心却独自跳得好寂寞. 幸福那一个美梦是二人同行才有, 爱你我爱到最后剩回忆这个朋友."

I'm hungry! I want food! =P

2010-05-02T12:00:00.004+08:00

I began to look through my photos on my laptop. Woah! Within about 3years, my hairstyle changes quite often. That's because I like to cut my hair when I feel really stressed, or upset or simply sick of the same hairstyle. But now, I really loved my hairstyle. I used to worry what if i cut my fringe like what it is now. But never did I know that, after cutting, I fell in love with it. Its so much easier to maintain (except must trim the fringe once a month) compared to last time. Maybe because ever since I use herbalife shampoo, my hair quality improved so much! Its more silky black, smooth! I don't even bear to color my hair now, because I dont want it to be damaged again. Black is the trend! =P Now I'm trying my very best to just let it grow and hopefully it will be successful this time. Because I have been delaying for years! Yes, years and not months ok! Even my mum also give up on me in keeping long hair length. HAHA! I can do it this time! (Even though the weather's so hot recently for few months already!)

Oh ya, last fri I had a super enjoyed gathering with mei, june, melissa and pat. The last time we met each other was during last year's christmas! Actually we used to be colleagues, having lots of fun back in the old job. But now everyone work in different company, its even harder to have a gathering. Our gathering always full of laughters! We planned to have dinner at Watami @ ION Orchard, the queue freaking long so we changed to Fish & Co. They had a 10% discount off bill for birthday 3 days before and after and then melissa's birthday was 1 day before. They had a birthday rap by their staffs and birthday song sang by them as well. Then i told the manager mine was 6 days ago, am i entitled to the celebration? HAHA! We were told to stand on the sofa ok, in front of everyone else in the restaurant. Its so funny but we really had a great time. Pictures are all not with me, hee! Stay tuned to the photos in facebook then. Then we went to chill at starbucks, received our bday presents (vouchers)! woohoo! time for some shopping! =D and then headed home. By the time i reach home was already midnight and the funny thing is my mum don't even know i reach home, changed, bathed and play fb on my bed before i sleep. Then i bluff her that i sneak out leh, you also don't know. But she don't believe me of cuz. HAHA!

Anyway, some people are happily in love, or found their new relationship while here i am, enjoying my single life! when i look at them right, i start to think why some people are like these, but they still can find a bf? HAHA! I'm not trying to be mean la, but just my thoughts about it. Honestly, my looks and character definitely better than them. BUT i'm still single for years. Not 1 not 2 but 3 years of single life and still counting on. I dont really pray every single day that I will have a bf soon, but i will just let it be, if he's here then its here, if he's not here yet, then its not here lo. what can i do? cry everyday? make a big fuss out of it? i think that's really childish. i used to be like this, feel like dying when i dont have a bf. but now, who really cares! haha! there's nothing wrong being single, in fact you have more freedom in life. Ok, back to the topic, i made a conclusion for the above, because LOVE is BLIND! =P

So please rain while i'm enjoying my loneliness at home right now. So that maybe I can take a good nap later for awhile.

LIFE'S SHORT! SO ENJOY IT TO THE FULLEST! :D

2010-04-29T16:02:00.003+08:00

I'm really bored now! Because missy is not in the office. Ytd went to clark quay for lunch, had my fav spag again! *yummy* then she wanted to try her black and white shot with her motorola milestone. there was flash and shutter sound! i felt so paiseh for a minute! But the picture turn out nice! =P Oh ya, ytd 3pm my manager ask us to go home because there was painting outside the building and it was really smelly, i think the smell of thinner. i can't even breathe properly! so when i was alighting from the bus, there were those malay boys (kids) on the bus. then one of them told the other friend in malay (obviously i dont understand), but he was pointing at my dress, and i heard the word 'swimsuit'! BINGO! They were laughing at my dress! *GRR* I got to admit, that dress isn't really comfortable and the design, really look like swimsuit! Don't ask me why I buy! HAHA! Its online shopping la. Anyway now i've learnt, i won't buy this kind of material anymore.

Ok, so back to what I intend to write today. My manager was asking when was my last day again, and the new girl will be coming in the week after. Suddenly i realised, its less than 2 weeks before i report for my new work and environment and people! all my friends know that i'm really quiet when you first know me. i 'hate' to interact with people. i don't socialise. blah blah! i'm freaking nervous as the date gets nearer because i have to start everything all over again.

There are lots of changes in life. Like from a girl to a lady and to a woman. Like from being single to have someone you love and being loved. Sometimes you get used to it, then when you have changes in life, you will need time to get used to it. Sigh! Starting to feel sad now. HAHA! Because used to be very happy being loved and having someone in your mind/heart and your life. suddenly this person changed, and leaves, you felt so lost! Yes, lost is the word! I was freaking lost when I broke up with him. Like as if my world is crashed! I took a freaking long time to adjust back my life. I think its true when people says the first cut is the deepest. INDEED! Now, i'm so used to my single life. But still wants to be loved. Who doesn't want to be loved! When you have totally let go, then you can move on. Ya, you are my past and will always be my past. Anyway, i just dislike changes in my life, time taken to adjust myself to the new environment and new colleagues there. Even just by thinking, i also feel so nervous and stressed. I will miss my freedom here, no more time for facebook, msn. I will miss Missy the most! I think I will cry on my last day with her here. Sigh! But i know this change would make me a better person. Be it money wise or knowledge wise. HAHA! For things to change, you have to change. For things to be better, you got to be better! I always remember that.

Ytd my mum and brother have a nagging session again. And me? Stuck in the middle! He everyday come home, then rush to ntu hostel to meet gf. Not tired meh! Meet everyday not boring meh! HAHAHA! I always tell my mum, you know why? Because LOVE IS BLIND! Perfect answer for questions about love.

Woah! Seems like a long post eh. =P Anyway tmr after work meeting with my ex-colleagues! So long never catch up with each other! Can't wait for it! Weeee~! =D

Someone said I look like a tweety bird! But I know I look more like chicken little! Hahaaha! Ok, back to watching my CSI now!

2010-04-27T16:57:00.011+08:00

Read this on my friend's blog. (It reminds me of too many things.)

"When you meet someone whether it be at a party or online or at a library while both reaching for the same book, you get these feelings. You wonder. You are curious. Anything is possible. And you can’t wait to find out what’s next. As you get to know someone more and more, you fall deeper. Not just for them but for everything they are about. Everything that they stand for. Everyone in their life. Everything that touches their heart now touches yours. Their culture. Their religion. Their family and friends. You now have become part of their lives like they have become part of yours.

You have your own views of course but you are willing to listen to theirs. Every tear that they shed is followed by a tear of your own. “I can feel your pain” is no longer a lyric from a Manchester Orchestra song but now it is reality. You spend so much time wondering how they are, what they’re doing, what they’re thinking, what is running through their mind.

You meet up and hang out. Them, not knowing how much you’ve prepared for that moment of just seeing them. Not knowing that your heart is racing at a million miles per hour. Because you are playing it off. You barely look at them, but not because you don’t want to but because you are afraid your heart and eyes might explode by being overwhelmed at such a sight.It’s not that I don’t want it to work, believe me I do.

But I don’t love 90% or 99% I love a million percent. I go all out. I don’t just wear my heart on my sleeve for you, I wear my fucking soul and mind on there too. Like a charmbraclet on my wrist. The heart charm is my heart. The book charm is my mind. The flower is my soul and they are all yours for the taking.

But what happens now? What happens next? I sit in my room and each line of every book I can relate to you and me and us and the color of your eyes. Every song I hear, I can sing along and apply the lyrics to you. Every food reminds me of you. Every sight, every fragrance, every voice, every noise, every feeling. And now, what has become of me? How can I focus on what is important? How can I get anything done?

I am afraid. I don’t think it is fear of love, I love everything and everyone. I am not afraid of making love. I am afraid of being in love.

And I don’t know who will help me get over this. I don’t know if I ever will get over this. I don’t know if I’ll ever fall in love again but I do know that he/she needs to be patient. I can be difficult. Oh, believe me I can be difficult. But my intentions are pure. And I don’t want a lover, I want a friend. I don’t want to be kissed, I want to be held. I don’t want to be figured out or understood, just comforted when I can’t figure myself out."

Do you feel the same as me?

2010-04-26T13:52:00.006+08:00

Everyone requested him to take a picture with me, because i think that was one of my wish that night. Haha! Though he was blur and wondering why must take picture with me, its because that day was my BIRTHDAY! But still, thanks! (He's really good looking!)

HAPPY 23RD BDAY! =P

2010-04-25T19:19:00.003+08:00

I have alot of things in my mind now. But I don't know how to put them in words here. Sometimes I really don't know what I really want. Whatever upset moments I have in mind now, I hope it will be a better day tmr.

"There's always the difference there between each other. I really don't understand why every year I feel upset about it."

2010-04-22T11:55:00.004+08:00

Sad to say, my period came ytd. Which was least expected. Because it came so early! How to enjoy sat when i'm so tired from this? How to enjoy myself at the training and dinner party? I'm trying to stay happy but it doesn't help. This morning my GM ask me go buy coffee/barley/food for him. Its not i'm complaining because he's my GM. But he always pass by that coffee shop in the morning, but he still ask me to buy for him when he arrived in office. He's really lazy ok. Sometimes he ask me to buy lunch late afternoon under the hot sun, sometimes he ask me to go mcd and buy sundae ice cream for him. Dont you think its too much? He's really lazy until i got no words to describe. Which pissed me off real badly this morning. Bad mood! I should have just given two weeks notice instead of one month, so that i can slack at home for two weeks. =/

Anyway, birthday is getting nearer and nearer. Suddenly i feel so down, like its going to be over soon. I wonder who really still remembers me. Mood swings now, feel so emo.

Who doesn't want to have a guy in her life who will love her wholeheartedly and never make her cry. So where is mine! Every time i listen to the song "Beautiful Love", i always wish a guy would prove to me that LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL in this world of mine and the greatest happiness in life is to be loved by him!

2010-04-20T16:54:00.008+08:00

"我曾经喜欢过你..."

2010-04-20T09:59:00.000+08:00

No matter where I go, which direction I look at, the people I meet along the way, Iphone's everywhere! *GRR* it really irritates me, because i could have gotten my iphone if i waited 2 more weeks when starhub launch the iphone plans. Sigh! what to do! its not that i dont like my htc diamond 2, just that i change my phone too rush! HAHA! So anyway, should wait till Oct this year before i change phone again. I just checked, for HTC HD2, starhub and singtel price difference of abt $200 depending on the plan i get. dont know why got such big difference. i really hope i can get the phone i like and not accordingly to my budget the next time i change phone! =D

Finally i get to sleep just now on the way to work. But now i feel even more sleepy. Shit man. Always not enough sleep for a couple of days liao. This friday taking leave to go to the event to help out. Sat also at the same event helping out. Please let me see some hot guys there, to make me happy! cuz its my birthday. LOL! I still haven get any dress yet. Ytd went to try the dress, $79! Still thinking whether to get it anot. Sigh! Make me richer please! HAHA!

Birthday coming real soon. 4 MORE DAYS! I realised I always feel down when its the actual day. Because after 24hrs, its not my birthday anymore. Eh, sounds like a kid har! Ya, birthday to me, its a very impt thing in my life. =P

2010-04-18T17:26:00.021+08:00

It was the birthday celebration for Lucinda's birthday. More pictures from her camera. I was really lazy to bring my digi cam, cuz i got my hp camera. =P It was held at the function room at The Caribbean @ Keppel Bay. I love the swimming pool concept there, very nice view! And at the other end of the condo, you can see the yachts parking right there. Freaking rich people live there with the yachts park nearby their house! HAHA! Anyway, had lots of fun, saw those familiar faces. Alot of kids too, it doesn't seem like its her 40th birthday, more like a get-together cum kids play time! (: I love her cake, specially made by her friend! I fall in love with the cake! It was so beautiful and nicely done. I want that cake on my birthday too! =P

I was attracted to the ribbon, took picture with it! Another few shots with the birthday girl. HAHA! Soon, its my turn for my birthday. Though no big celebration this time, but still quite excited! =D

STOP CALLING ME. I WON'T PICK UP YOUR CALLS. I SWEAR I WILL NEVER TALK TO YOU ANYMORE. LEAVE ME ALONE. I hope you read this and don't call me again!

2010-04-17T08:40:00.004+08:00

OMG! I'm really really excited because 1 more week to my birthday, and also Herbalife 7th anniversary training cum dinner party! All together on the same day! I think its gonna be very fun! Because it falls on the same day. But i scare i will kenna sabo. HAHA! Hopefully not la. Now I haven even get a new dress for my birthday. Or at least a set of new clothes. Running out of time le. Actually I dont want to spend too much on it, because I scare i wont wear it often. But I want to have a new one, I will feel very happy! LOL!

7 more days! =P

2010-04-16T15:38:00.002+08:00

Ytd my friend msn me that she won't be able to come on 25th to celebrate my birthday because she's busy with her exams. I was feeling abit down, because if she did not go, then only left like 3-4 people meeting up. Which I think no point, anyway its just a birthday celebration can always do it another day when more people can make it. But I never blame my friend of cuz. So i reply to the fb message to the rest that why not we cancel the meet up on 25th. Then tong reply back saying we should carry on with the celebration and he ask another friend joined us. I WAS SURPRISED and touched by tong. I didn't know that he ask this friend to join. And I wasn't really close with him during poly days. Haha! Anyway, I'm really looking forward to see tong and my friends on the 25th. So long never meet up! Best thing is, eating at Cityhall's NYNY! My all time favourite NYNY! Ah tong is still the best birdy friend since poly days. (:

So my actual bday 24th, I will be attending herbalife 7th anniversary special training cum dinner party! freaking excited! because its my bday that day! celebrating with herbalife and so many friends around me! No wonder I feel so excited for my bday this year. Actually wanted to open chalet, but it clashes with the event. I want chalet bbq next year! I promise I will do it next year! =)

8 more days to my 23! =P

2010-04-15T20:53:00.003+08:00

One moment I was saying - - Always remind myself, no matter what, there will be no perfect ending. Just be contented and happy! ♥ Life's short, live it to the fullest! And another moment because of an sms, my saying change to - If its not yours, there's no right to be angry. i feel so angry with myself now for feeling frustrated. )=

Do you think being a fling is right or wrong?

2010-04-13T20:43:00.003+08:00

Congrat to myself! Because I got the job at Seadrill! Position - Payroll & Benefits Coordinator! I'm really excited and happy because I finally can get out of the boring place! And better career path, can learn more about HR. Hehe! I'm just too happy today. Last day at Magenta is 13th May. Then report to Seadrill on 17th May! New salary also higher which makes me even happy! Going to be hardworking and be committed and teachable. Yes I will prove that I'm capable of doing this job. JIAYOU! (; But tmr, I need to give my resignation letter to my GM. Don't know what will be his reaction and what am I suppose to say.

Today got a little surprise after work. Unexpected. Hehe!

bell'amore . tutto ho voluto era un bell'amore.

寂寞寂寞就好

"When you have loved unconditionally one man and lost that love, it leaves a wound that never heals, a sad and broken heart, a void forever."

sometimes we tend to complicate things when it can be that simple in life. love comes with hurt, if no then you come and prove me wrong.

Why should I even feel upset when I know I'm just NOTHING to you. You don't even care whether I'm happy or sad or feel like crying!

sometimes we tend to complicate things when it can be that simple in life.
love comes with hurt, if no then you come and prove me wrong.

Why should I even feel upset when I know I'm just NOTHING to you.
You don't even care whether I'm happy or sad or feel like crying!